Month 3 - June Healing Goals
Month Three with Elizabeth…LET’S GO!!!
I am going to be REAL with y’all, I came really close to quitting a couple of weeks ago, but thanks to some badass friends and being open with Elizabeth, I didn’t. I can’t quit. I have still so much to do and I can’t do this on my own and I don’t want to be that old person anymore
Healing from an eating disorder is a full time job! And it is the least favorite job that I have EVER had. This damn thing is an annoying mosquito that buzzes around your ears constantly trying to bully you back into your old ways. This process isn’t linear, it is a total cluster fuck of good days and bad days. It is a lot of freaking work mentally, emotionally, and physically. There is NOTHING easy about it. So YES, that is why I have thought about giving up, because it is just flat our HARD!
PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN
I have come a long way with eating more food and more protein, but I still have a long way to go! I didn’t realize how hard this part was going to be and I am giving myself grace to take it day by day, month by month, but adding more food on a daily basis is hard AF for someone recovering from an eating disorder. For so many years, I would only eat when I was absolutely starving, so trying to eat when I’m not hungry is ONE of those things that I am learning to work through.
Protein for me and my goals is extremely important, especially with all the training that I do. My daily protein goal is about 135g - 145g per day. WHEW…It is a big number for me and I appreciate Elizabeth’s patience and her constantly pushing me and inspiring me to stay the course and reminding me constantly that YES, I will get there. Just like with strength training, I follow people on social media who inspire me with their recipes, protein facts, information, and reminders that are helping me move forward and get to where I need to get. I also am grateful to have friends who I can lean on, talk to, and who just can be REAL with me about the food and this journey.
It is taking a lot of work to do this part of our work, but it is worth it and I know that I can do this and get there, I just have to let go of the control and stop being so damn stubborn!
STRENGTH TRAINING
I am all about this!!! I am a cardio whore and have been for a long time. For so long, I would do hours of cardio thinking that it was burning more calories, fat, and that it was going to keep me skinny. But working with Elizabeth, talking with strength training friends, and following influencers who lift heavy and focus more on strength training is slowly but surely changing my mindset.
I preach a lot about strength training and how it is so great for our bodies, metabolism, and overall well being. It’s freaking the best kind of movement we can do to help us live a long and prosperous life. I can be really good about ditching out advice, but then sometimes I never take my own. YES, I am coming clean my friends, but I am here to tell you, I’m making the change, I’m showing up more in the weight room, I’m lifting heavier weights, I am doing it and I LOVE it!
Make sure that you are following me on Instagram, because that is where I post all of my workout videos! My latest one (click HERE) requires NO weights, so you can do it anywhere. It’s an ass cheek burner and targets all those leg muscles and your core as well. Let’s GO! More workouts…More strength training…It’s all coming together friends…FINALLY!
MORE SWEETS PLEASE
This is a big one for me and a hard one, because for years I have told myself I am not a sweet person, that I only eat savory foods. I basically convinced myself that sweets weren’t for me, meanwhile as a kid I LOVED them and into my 30s I LOVED them too. But in the real ugly part of my eating disorder I told myself I didn’t deserve them, didn’t need them, and if I did have them, it would only be on days when I did big time workouts, or in a full out binge episode. Y’all…HARD FACTS…Eating disorders are a total mind fuck and that’s what my mind did to me with my relationship with sweets.
NOW I am here to change that narrative and welcome them back into my life, because I’m ready, because I truly do love sweets, and when you are engaged to someone who really LOVES sweets, I have to join him for that party. Shannon’s passion for dessert is helping me recover. I know he doesn’t know this, but it’s true. I can’t jump right back into it, this is a slow and steady process, because this shit takes time. Just like it took years to train my brain to say NO, it is going to take some time and work to tell my brain YES.
It feels so good to be able to know this and do this, but more importantly I want to do this! I believe that the universe is always sending me signs, so when I won a cookie contest from Bitty Chip Cookies, I was like okay, how do I not eat these, and who wouldn’t want to eat these. This is a process, but adding them in more and more is huge progress for me and I’m enjoying it.
SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES
Don’t we all need social media boundaries these days?!?! Recognizing how toxic it can be, spending so much time scrolling through our phones, staring at our computer screens, and being fearful of going anywhere without our devices is not healthy. To think that in college, there was no Facebook, no Instagram, I hardly used email, and my cell phone was always turned off. I don’t even think I used it. Craziness right…Life was different. It seemed to be more simple.
I think we need to go back to SIMPLE! After taking a couple of weeks off from these spaces, Elizabeth and I talked about establishing healthy boundaries with social media. YES, this is my job and my livelihood, and I love what I do, but I recognized that it was frustrating me, I had serious writing/creating blocks, I was comparing myself to others, I was questioning myself and my work. It was becoming an energy vampire suckng up too much of my time.
How does this relate to my eating disorder? Being able to set up boundaries with my job and social media in general helps me set up boundaries when it comes to healing my body. Less time on my devices, more time outside, more social interaction, writing, reading allows me to step away from the noise and immerse myself in things that are truly REAL and feel good and fill me up mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I worked on these boundaries the past week and it feels GOOD! What have I been doing:
Not giving AF…I used to worry so much about the likes, the engagement, the followers. Screw that…As long as I’m posting content that is real, authentic, educational, and inspiring, and makes me proud, I am GOOD!
Less time on ALL devices! One of the benefits of waking up early, is that I get a lot done in the morning, which allows me to disconnect earlier in the day and focus on other things. Curling up on the couch and reading a good book is one of my favorite things to do!
POSITIVE VIBES - I am staying true to myself and believing in myself! The eating disorder allowed me to become insecure about a lot of things, but I’m taking that power BACK and it is showing in my work, my body, my mind, and my overall well-being! I am so grateful for my “tribe” and their support, encouragement, and daily inspire to keep me on track. I can honestly say that I am in such a better place in my life from just a few months ago.
I am learning, growing, healing, and doing this constant daily work and I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!
xoxo
