Giving Myself The Gift Of HEALTH
I turned 42 years old on Monday and gave myself the gift of HEALTH!
Last week I made the decision to hire a Nutrition/Sports Performance Coach, because I realized that I needed help. It is finally time that I open up about my relationship with FOOD. I cannot begin to tell you how scary it is to OPEN UP about this in this space, but it is something that I have wanted to do for so long. I just never had the guts. I was never ready to truly do the work. I never really had the support system.
Things happen for a reason, and last week it could have been the crazy Full Moon, my birthday on the horizon, or seeing so many friends/influencers opening up about their stories during “National Eating Disorder” week, but whatever it was, I knew it was time for ME to make a change in my lifestyle. It was time for ME to be honest with myself. It was time for ME to do the work. It was time for ME to nourish this beautiful body. It was time for ME to let go of the control and live my best life.
There is so much that I want to share with all of you and I am not really sure where to begin, but I do know that I want to share this next chapter in my life to hold myself accountable, but also to inspire others who may be struggling with food. I am not alone in this journey and if you are struggling, please know that YOU are not alone.
As I sit here, writing this out, I not only feel a HUGE relief to let this out into the universe,, I also realize how much information I have to share about this journey. I am only in the beginning stages of this recovery, but I have already made small changes that feel so AMAZING! This journey is not going to be easy by any means. There are going to be lots of challenges, highs and lows, WORK, but it is going to be so worth it. Because I am worth it. I want to be the best version of myself for me, for Shannon, for my friends and family. Because when you are fully in love with yourself inside and out, that energy is the real shit and I will be living my best life.
Where do I even start...I think it is going to be important for you to know about this journey, where it began, and how I got to where I am now. I would diagnose myself as pretty close to “orthorexia”.
What does that mean? A few signs of “orthorexia” are:
Engaging in emotional eating
Self-esteem is based on eating healthy foods
Increasingly critical and more rigid about eating
Feeling as if certain foods are dangerous
Feeling guilt or ashamed when unable to maintain diet standards!
If you want more information about orthorexia, you learn about it HERE.
GOSH, it is scary AF to write this out and realize that YES, this is what I have been doing for years! So many years of stressing, restricting, and doing harm to this body. It almost makes me want to cry. One of the main reasons I am getting help and opening up about this, is because I realized how much harm I am doing to my muscles and bones. The fear of going out for a run and breaking my bones from not properly fueling freaks me out! Don’t believe me? This happens to more women athletes than you know. Read this article HERE!
At 42 years old, I am stepping into a new year and I realize that I really want to focus on endurance training and get back into more running, cycling, and start training for ½ marathons and even triathlons again. I haven’t been able to do this, because I haven’t been properly fueling for it. My body just can’t do it and acknowledging that and realizing that was a huge eye-opener for me, because y’all know how much I like to work out and how much peace, energy, and JOY it brings me. Plus, I want to be that 70 years old still rocking with a strong beautiful body with no plastic surgery.
I am not going to be able to put it ALL in one post, because this is going to be an EPIC JOURNEY to follow and I want to share it with you. We will start from the beginning. We will talk about how it started,..we will talk about the ups and downs...we will talk about what it is like to work with a Nutritional/Sports Performance Coach...we will talk about it ALL. There is no holding back now and I am ready for that. I am ready to share. I am ready to inspire. I am ready to live my best life and I am so freaking excited!
What’s amazing is that I have already been putting in the work and here are some small accomplishments that I have already made…
I have opened up to those who I love about this. Do you know how good it feels to talk this out? Having kept this secret for so long inside of me has been horrible...But it’s out there and HELL YEAH!
I realized that I cannot do this on my own, so asking for help and signing up to do the work was HUGE! I am stubborn and determined and set in my ways, so that was a really big step!
I have started journaling.
I have already been adding more calories and foods that I haven’t eaten in years!
I am just ready to do the WORK and win this fight!
I still have a lot of work to do and that is okay, but knowing I have already made some pretty big steps means a lot to me. I feel better. I feel happier. I feel present. I hope that you will join me on this journey and follow along. We, women, put so much pressure on ourselves these days and the state of the world does not help either, so now more than ever we really need to take care of ourselves from the inside out. Because I know that when I am stressed and cannot control what is happening outside, food is always the one thing that I can control. And I am done doing that.
I know that letting go of CONTROL is going to be one of the hardest things for me to do on this journey. I can be a control freak, so letting go is going to be hard AF, but I believe that once I do, so many other things are going to open up in my life and that is truly exciting. Also, have you noticed how every time I say something negative, I end it with something positive? YEP, that is the WORK happening right before your eyes!
More positivity
More love
More vulnerability
More confidence
More GRACE
Let’s do this!
xoxo
