HELLO 45
Say CHEESE! These photo captures me perfectly as to how I feel about rolling into 45 years old! Damn it is wild to say that number out loud and realize that another year has come and gone, but here I am still standing, still growing, still creating, still inspiring, but also changing drastically and I LOVE IT!
I realize that this new chapter I am a LOT…
A lot of layers…
A lot of personality…
A lot of dreams…
A lot of ideas…
A lot of emotions…
A lot of love!
It is all ME!
There has been a lot of growth and shifts in 2024 and it has been some of the hardest months, but also the most freeing, eye opening, powerful, beautiful, and happiest. I am for the first time in a long time, living my life, living my purpose, being fearless with my voice, my dreams, and myself.
In the past birthdays have always made me feel a little uncomfortable. I have a hard time being the center of attention, accepting compliments, feeling awkward, not really knowing what I want or how to celebrate, always asking “well what would you do?” Y’all, I have my own insecurities and birthdays always have been one of them and YES at 44, I decided to change the narrative and the night before my birthday I made a promise to myself…No negative thoughts, embrace the age, the day, this chapter, relish in the compliments, ENJOY the celebration and the day, and do whatever the fuck is going to bring you joy, peace, love, and happiness!
If you haven’t noticed from my recent blog post and my posts on Instagram, I have been doing a lot of work on myself to change a lot of things about myself and it is the best I have ever felt. I was in a dark space and I was ruminating, so when I reached out to Daune a couple of months ago, she asked me “How desperate are you to do the work? Are you that desperate that you are outside licking the sidewalk?” I responded within seconds and said YES and let’s do it. As I always say…the work works and the work is working for the first time, because for the first time I have wanted to do it so badly. I am recognizing my faults and I am recognizing my potential. I am learning the tools to live at a higher frequency in all aspects of my life and damn it feels good.
Life is not perfect…We are not perfect…And all of this okay with me now…I am learning to make my own decisions and to stop seeking external validation. I am finding my voice and what really lights my soul on fire. I am doing me and only me for the first time. I am being selfish and have no qualms about it. I am no longer a GIVER!
This mermaid is probably going to ruffle a lot of feathers, but life is too short to not be true to yourself, your heart, and your dreams! I’m done preaching…I have said my peace. I feel like I have spewed my stuff. I am going to keep working on me. I am going to keep doing the “new me” and that is that. What’s next? Well…you will just have to follow along and see…I cannot wait for what this next chapter and this next year is going to look like!
Good VIBES ONLY!
xoxo
