Time For A Check In - Part II
HELLO HELLO FRIENDS! It has been a hot minute since I have been back in this space. Life has just been busy with work, half marathon training, healing, and choosing to just enjoy life and disconnect more. The weather has been absolutely AMAZING and I am working on trying to enjoy the little things as I tackle this NEW chapter in my life. These sunny warm days bring so much joy to my overall being. I feel more energized, I feel happier, and I just feel like I am changing into my true authentic self!
When I shared this quote on Sunday, it truly spoke to me and speaks so much TRUTH as to where I want to be today, tomorrow, this summer, and next year! Growth, change, and taking risks are scary AF, but going back to the old me is not an option, because so many positive changes have occurred, and I am going to keep fighting!
This journey has not been cupcakes and rainbows, that is for damn sure! I will be the first one to admit that in the past two weeks I have had some moments. I wanted to throw in the towel. I wanted to go back to my old ways. My clothes weren’t fitting. I wasn’t sleeping well. I started to restrict again and wasn’t eating enough, which resulted in shitty workouts, and I didn’t have the energy to do my long runs. I was mad. I wanted to cry. I was frustrated. I felt ALL THE THINGS!
BUT...After I did my weekly talks with my Coach and I went to visit my friends in Myrtle Beach (two weekends in a row), there was a shift in my energy. I could feel it and I knew deep down that I could do this and that I could move forward and tackle the ED. I believe that it was a combination of just talking all the SHIT out...disconnecting from social media...being present in meaningful conversations...nourishing my body with delicious food and wine...giving myself LOTS of grace...Setting up a plan to make sure I would hold myself accountable and those around me would hold me accountable...to truly start LETTING GO OF FEAR!
It is A LOT to think about and handle, but I can do this, because I can do hard things, but more importantly, I just want to live my best life, so I can be a better person for myself and those around me, and that person especially being Shannon. The man has been so patient, understanding, and just ALWAYS there for me...through IT ALL!
As of right now, I am in a better place this week, and writing about what has been happening with my healing felt right to share now. HALLELUJAH!!! I want to go over the things that I have been working on and what it entails. A little bit of this and that...
FOOD
I am working on a few things right now, but what I love about working with my Coach is that making changes to my food intake has been slow and steady. We are going at a very slow pace, which helps me mentally, but also helps my body adjust to the weekly changes that we make.
I am still struggling with adding in an afternoon snack and adding more calories and I am being pretty stubborn about it, because I have a hard time eating when I am not hungry. This is definitely a work in progress and that is okay. I am also working on getting out of my own space and meeting up with friends and exploring places in Charleston to nosh at. Again another work in progress, that requires me to really let go of control. But I am aware of this and I am also working on this!
I will get there, but right now, I am proud of myself for…
Adding collagen into my morning coffee to get the extra protein;
Not needing as much coffee in the mornings;
ALWAYS eating before any workout;
Adding more of the good STUFF to my meals, because appetite is on FIRE;
Setting up weekly social dates with friends to just be social and EAT;
No more bingeing! I had one episode within the past two weeks, but I gave myself grace, recognized the issue, and just moved on;
When it comes to eating and drinking, I feel so much better overall! I listen to my body and eat what I want, when I want. I don’t overdo it. I fill up my belly with what makes me happy. Again, this is another HUGE step in the right direction and it makes me so HAPPY!
WORKOUTS
BEAST MODE...Gosh darn, it feels so good to train with energy, focus, and purpose!!! I have missed this feeling and I am enjoying it so much more! I sometimes ask myself how the hell was I even able to workout with little to no nutrients in my body?!?! Just making these small and simple changes over the past month, I have felt so much better not only overall, but physically. My workouts mean so much to me and the fact that I was jeopardizing them daily scares the shit out of me. Now that I am recovering, learning, and properly fueling, my workouts have a whole new meaning. I am grateful that I am able to train like I do every damn day!
Half Marathon training is in FULL force! I tackled 10 miles on Monday and it felt FREAKING AMAZING! I talk a little bit more about it in this post! I am loosely following the training schedule, because I want to make sure that I am continuing with strength training, stretching, and also spinning. The reasoning behind this is that I like to do it all, so that I stay strong and limber, while still getting enough cardio in to keep up my endurance. So you will find me running around town, or on the bike, or on my mat, or lifting heavy things!
Once half marathon training is over, I do want to switch things up and get out of my comfort zone and try some new workouts! I think I want to do more HIIT, heavier weights, and maybe even try f45 Training?!?! I hear people love that damn place...Either way, I think it’ll be a good time to step out of my comfort zone and spice it UP!
OVERALL WELL-BEING
We are coming on almost two months of this journey and I have definitely noticed changes physically, mentally, and emotionally. This is OBVIOUS, because the amount of restricting and undereating I was doing to my body was just horrible! It was a vicious, destructive, and sad cycle that I was on.
BUT...that is in the past and the old Katie has left the building! Changes that I have noticed;
My nails are stronger and growing faster;
I am more regular as far as going #2 (the constipation I was experiencing before was horrible);
ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY;
I am sleeping better and haven’t woken up in the middle of the night starving;
I have been able to add back foods that I haven’t eaten in years with no horrible side effects;
I want to take better care of myself and the way I look! I don’t want to always be in workout clothes and truly make an effort to “get dressed every day”;
I feel happier;
I want to do ALL THE THINGS! BOOM!
WHAT’S NEXT
I am going to keep doing what I am doing! I am going to be kind to myself. I am going to try new things. I am going to let go of the control and the fear. I am going to take it one day at a time.
Summer is my favorite season and May is jammed packed with LOTS of good things and I want summer to STOP CONTROLLING things and just enjoy myself! The energy that is manifesting inside of me is powerful and it is time to live, love, and inspire both myself and others.
LOVE Y’ALL!
xoxo
